Dancing with Myself

Southern Myth vs. Southern History

Today I read E.L. Doctorow's, The March, another one of those historical novels that purports to be mostly the truth, just with a few personal details thrown in.  It was too hot around here to do much besides read.  You Southerners go ahead and make fun of me, but it was up to 98 degrees today.  Hot, huh?  Of course, it's cooled down to 70 right now, and will further cool down to the upper 50s before the night is over.  But I'm not here to talk about the weather.

This is not Doctorow's best book.  Ragtime and Billy Bathgate were both better.  The March purports to give a perspective of Sherman's infamous (to Southerners) March to the Sea where he laid waste to much of the South in a determined effort to rob the Southern population of the will and resources to continue to wage their insurrection.  It worked.  So did the half-million troops put into the field by the United States, and the incredible wealth of the northern states. 

Like most Southern children, I was taught about the myth of the Civil War, and being a romantic little queen, I imagined all of my family to be rich, noble, White, etc.  While in most cases, it is the victor who writes history, that was reversed in the South following the Civil War.

It wasn't until I started studying genealogy that I discovered that not all Southerners embraced the Confederacy and its stupidity.  On one hand, I was only two or three generations removed from people who fought in it.  My great-grandfather, A.S. Droddy, Jr., and his brother, John G. Droddy, both either joined or were drafted into the Confederate Army in the Rapides Parish area of Louisiana, near Alexandria.  No one in my family ever talked about papa or grandpa or great-grandpa's Civil War stories.  When I was researching them for genealogical reasons, I discovered that they were both charged with desertion not long after they went in.  Great-granduncle John, was also accused of being a Copperhead, a word used to describe Southerners who had deserted from the Confederacy and spent a few years dodging both Southern and Union forces as well as the dreaded Home Guard.  It appeared to be a matter of survival.  You know there had to be some good stories there.

On my maternal grandmother's side, her grandfather named a son Ulysses in 1867.  Hello?  That seems pretty obvious to me where his sympathies lay.  Those two anecdotes are from my mother's side of the family.  No hotbed of rebellism there.  On my father's side, only one branch of the family bothered with the Civil War.  The Bridges family were caught in the middle of the war in Georgia.  I think it was pretty hard to hide from the war there.  Still no stories about it from that branch of the family.  They weren't too proud of their foolishness.  My father's mother's father's family were another story altogether.  The Willises hailed from Winn Parish, Louisiana.  Winn Parish was a hot bed of anti-secessionist feelings in Louisiana.

What a rich and diverse history of the Civil War exists in my immediate family, yet when we were taught about the Civil War in school, we were all White, we were all for the war, we all had slaves but we were all good to our slaves who were like family to us.  Yeah, right.  I can only imagine the response I would have gotten in the 8th grade if I had suggested to my American history teacher that not everyone in the South wanted the South to win.

This is not just another one of my disjointed free association ramblings.  Let's make a list of books about the Civil War that young Southerners should read.  We can also add to that list books that most Southerners have read, even to their own detriment.  We could start with Gone with the Wind in that particular category.  Talk about Southern romanticism unchecked!

How about

• Cold Mountain by Charles Frazier
• The March by E.L. Doctorow (well, I did just read it)

Without listing them, I would also include both Sandburg and Vidals biographies of Abraham Lincoln, but neither are exactly on point.

Actually when I started with this idea, I thought I would have dozens of titles dancing around my fingers.  I think I've forgotten most of the real onerous, propaganda-type books I read in my youth.  There were a bunch of books I read around the centennial of the Civil War, but none of them stand out in my mind.  Mostly what I remember from that time of reading was how incredibly bloody the war was.

What books do you think Southerners should read to help them harmonize history and myth?

Confronting Fundamentalism

All day Monday there were two groups of fundamentalist Christians demonstrating in front of City Hall, protesting the beginning of same-sex marriages.  

This group consisted of four men with professionally printed signs.  Interestingly enough, they were dressed like the Village People.  Across the street were some members of Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church.  I'm told it was Phelps' daughter Shirley and two of her daughters.  Pretty little things physically, but ugly spiritually.

 I was told the one with her ass wrapped in the American flag is Shirley.  As you can see, they're being kept in a pen away from normal people.

This guy was cute, but brain dead. He kept on preaching, even as I attempted to engage him in Christian debate.  "Why do you make homosexual behavior such a major issue?  Jesus didn't preach on it.  None of the gospels mention it.  It couldn't have been that big a deal.  Why is it so big a deal for you?"  "The Bible says," says he.  No, says I, the Bible doesn't say.  Only Paul, who never knew Jesus, had anything to say about male-on-male sex.  So if Jesus and his apostles didn't have anything to say about same-sex relationships, why was it so important to him (the guy in the hat) to leave his home and come to my city to preach his bigotry?  All he could do was fall back on THE BIBLE SAYS, but you know what, no it doesn't.  The crowd in front of City Hall was overwhelmingly pro-celebration, and each time my cute young bigot would use his megaphone to preach, the crowd would drown him out with "BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

If you're just a stranger passing through and would like to know more about what the Bible does and does not say about same-sex relationships, there are a couple of excellent resources available to you.  The first, Soulforce:  whose purpose is freedom for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people from religious and political oppression through the practice of relentless nonviolent resistance.  They bear witness all around the country and force religious bigots to own their actions.  Another good site is the Gay Christian Network.

All I can say is some people ought to think more about what Jesus taught and look at his life for example and inspiration.

Same-Sex Weddings

The ruling which came down 30 days ago became state law Monday at 5:01 p.m.  Across the state, couples who have been in committed relationships, some for as long as 56 years, wed their spouses.  It was a joyous, emotionally intense day.  Below is another picture which allows you to read what's on the card.

Here are a few pictures.

As you can see, same sex couples come in all sizes and ages. Someone care to tell me how these folk threaten heterosexual marriage?  There were plenty of witnesses to this joyous occasion. Music was provided at different times by the San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus and Sistah Boom. The Chorus was featured on CNN. Sistah Boom is featured here.

There were plenty of other well wishers.

My favorites of all of those at the SF City Hall were these kids from Congregation Sha'ar Zahav, our GLBT neighborhood synogogue. They were there Monday night passing out pieces of cake to newly weds and witnesses alike, as a mitzvah and wishes for a sweet beginning to the newly wedded. A lot of cultures do that, you know, offer sweets as a blessing and a wish.

I know I've been missing in action lately, but besides being sick for two weeks in late May, we have a new staff director at work, and we've been busy. I'm back blogging at this address. The other address was always meant to be temporary. To all of you who wished me well in my little diversion, thank you.  I think it worked well enough. 

Now let's get back to our regular programming.

Dare I? DARE I?

That's the most memorable line from Mississippi Sissy by Keven Sessums.  Up until this week-end, I thought I was the only sissy from the South.  NOT!  I was in a league of my own, but I was not by far the biggest sissy, nor the only one.  I guess I got the shit beat out of me too many times until I finally hit back.  By the age of seven I had learned that the pain from a blow doesn't last as long as the shame of not responding to taunts.  But then, I come from a tough people. 

Here's the situation.  I'm being stalked by an evil person who shows all the classic symptoms of advanced sociopathy.  Doesn't that sound wonderfully clinical?  It's easy enough to just shrug it off, right?  Cyber stalkers, I mean.  Crazy people are just crazy.  It's really not about you.  It's about them. 

My lawyer wants me to conduct a little test.  He wants me to demonstrate a compulsive disorder on the part of my stalker.  I'm going to continue blogging, but at a different address.  If my crazy streaming of consciousness has entertained you and you're interested in my saga, write and I'll be happy to furnish you with the new address.  The trap to prove my stalker's obsessive compulsion is to see what lengths he goes to find me.  A Google trail should prove sufficient for damages.

This is all necessary because I know I'm being stalked by an evil person, and I have begun a subtle degree of self-censorship. Any form of censorship dulls the blade, especially self-censorship, because my natural response to censorship is satire.  Self-censorship just makes my note sound flat.  (I think that's a mixed metaphor, but it's late and I'm moving.)  Let's see how long it takes my stalker to find me.

I suppose it's a little like identity-theft.  You always think of it as something that happens to others.

In one week, this blog will temporarily be closed.  That ought to drive the son-of-a-bitch abso-fucking-lutely crazy.  It's going to be fun recreating his mad search for me, in a court room.  I told my lawyer that I didn't think the s.o.b. had a pot to piss in, but he said that's not my problem.  I'll take his goddamn pot and he can go piss on himself.  If my language seems harsh, I apologize.  I come from America's rougher edge.  I come from a family tree that bears tough fruit, and nuts, just to be fair.

Think of it as a game.  Come find me if you care, or dare. 

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the Gayest of them all?

Several friends and I went to see and hear Joel Derfner read from his new book, Swish: My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever at Books, Inc. on Market Street in San Francisco.  What a pleasant evening.  The East Bay Boys met me and another friend for drinks and dinner.  Afterwards we walked over to the bookstore and managed to be fashionably late (my apologies to Mr. Derfner), but timely enough to  hear him sing, read and talk.  Joel writes a blog called Searching for Love in Manhattan which I started reading about a year ago.  After six months of reading and never saying anything, I felt embarrassed.  I imagined he was one of those bloggers who compulsively monitor the traffic on their blogs, who comes, who goes, what they read, etc.  What if he thought I was cyber stalking him.  (You laugh, but it happens.)  Thank god I finally found an opportunity to leave a comment a little more subsantial than "Kilroy was  here."

So anyway, as I was saying, we went to hear him read from his new book, and to meet him.  He is my favorite person du jour.  Wanting to impress him, I bought his book last Friday, so I was one of very few in the group that had read it which enabled me to ask a few questions.  I started reading the book like it was a cute collection of essays by someone with an interesting sense of humor and an incredible ability as a wordsmith.  Joel is a very good writer, and although this is his second book, it's really the first book-book.  The first book, as it were, is a collection of  poems called Gay Haiku.  Swish is a beautiful and passionate book.  My favorite part?  He attends an Exodus Ministries "convention" in Ashville, North Carolina.  Exodus Ministries is a Christian ministry dedicated to helping Gay men not be Gay. He's there to snark at them, but he is humbled by the humanity he encounters and experiences excruiciating angst that he feels for others who don't see the specialness of their lives. 

I haven't read Gay Haiku yet, despite my love of poetry.  Joel is giving a copy of it away as a prize in a contest he's sponsoring called Are You Gay Enough?  I don't think Joel is the Gayest person EVER, anymore than I am, but we're both Gay enough.  Entering his contest is simple.  You just have to read Swish and send him an email and tell him your favorite part.  My favorite part was watching and listening to him read and comment on his feelings and thought processes.  It made a very personal book that much more accessible. 

This isn't a proper review of Swish.   That will have to come later.  The other parts of my life are screaming at me, demanding my attention.  This is the best picture that was taken.  We're both cuter than that.

Everyone have a nice Memorial Day week-end, y'hear?

In Memoriam

For Lee.

Yitgadal v’yitkadash shemai raba . . .

Great and holy is your great Name
in this world you created by your will!
May your true reign begin
in our lifetime,
in our days,
in the lives of all who Struggle—
swiftly—
soon!

Let your great Name be blessed
for all ages to come—
blessed, praised, glorified, exalted,
extolled, honored, lifted up, lauded
be the Name of the Holy One,
blessed be you,
far beyond all blessings
and hymns and praises and consolations
that are spoken in the world.

Let great peace descend on us from the heavens!
Let life be renewed for us and for all who Struggle!
You who make peace in the heavens,
make peace for us.

Make peace for all who Struggle.

This translation of the Kaddish is from the blog, Notes from the Dreamtime, written by Craig R. Smith.  I found it this morning  when I was daytripping through the blogosphere.  He's taken a few liberties in his translation with which I concur. 

Lee and me last summer celebrating my 60th birthday.  Thanks for coming and celebrating with me, buddy. 

I miss you so much already that it hurts.

Houston's Pig and Poodle Farm

Maggie has started yet another contest.  One is supposed to look around their homestead, so to speak, and give it a clever name based on some characteristic.  That's easy enough:  I live on a freeway.  While my bedroom looks out onto a normal residential neighborhood, my deck appears to sit in a plum tree that flowers late winter and whose leaves catch the sun so fiercely that you can understand why Moses might have thought the bush was on fire.  For those reasons, if I called my place because of a proximity identity, I'd call it The Freeway Tree House.  Not a bad name, but I like the one I chose several years ago based on a dream, Houston's Pig and Poodle Farm, if only in my dreams.

My back porch, only out here they call it a deck. 

This is looking the other direction towards the freeway. As pretty as it is out here, unless you're deaf (which I am from living next door to a freeway), like I started to say, unless you're deaf, it's too noisy out here to truly enjoy. It's good enough for giving the smokers a place, and I grow a few herbs.

Don't get me wrong. I loves my home, but that doesn't mean I can't dream of quieter pastures, even if not greener ones. Wait! I've had an attack of rum induced brilliance. I'll call it the "It'll Do Freeway Tree House." It'll do until the P&P Farm becomes a reality.

California Supreme Court Overturns Gay Marriage Ban

In a 4-3 vote, California's Supreme Court has decided that separate but equal doesn't work for Gays and Lesbians when it comes to marriage anymore than it worked for schools in the South.

I've never been so proud of the Court as I am today. 

Three of the four votes are Republican appointees:  Chief Justice George, Justice Kennard, and Justice Werdegar.  Justice Moreno is a Democrat appointed by former Governor Gray Davis.  The three dissents are all Republicans.

The lines have already been drawn by the religious bigots.  There will be a petition on the ballot in November to overturn the Court's decision and write the hatred into the state's Constitution.  Never underestimate the determination of hate. 

Gays and Lesbians in the state will fight the Amendment with all our might.  Governor Schwarzenegger has already said he would campaign against the proposed Amendment.  Senator Obama is going to have to take a position as well.  We already know how Senator McCain feels. 

We have won, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.  The war is not over, but we've just won a major battle.  California is the most cited and followed state in the United States when it comes to jurisprudence.  Our Supreme Court rocks!

UPDATE:

A friend just called and said that the Castro was in full tilt boogey celebration mode.  I'm going down right after lunch and join the party.  We have good reason to celebrate.

SECOND UPDATE:

I generally do not link to Andrew Sullivan.  I have a visceral reaction to him.  I think he is just about the biggest suck-up, self-contradicting piece of crap ever to come down the pike.  He has, however, in his obsessive way, collected some "good commentary on the California Supreme Court's decision on same-sex marriage.  It's worth a visit and a read.  Afterwards, go wash your hands. 

Here's Something I Bet You Didn't Know

And from a source I bet you would never have suspected, either.

Check out this link from the New York Times.

A Southern Reading Challenge

A new blogger acquaintance, Maggie of Maggie Reads, (she's a librarian in Mississippi) has a reading challenge going.  "It's time for our hot, sweaty summer of reading Southern Books! Are You Ready?!?

"The rules are easy: 3 Southern Setting Books by Southern Authors in 3 Months beginning May 15 through August 15! "

The three Southern books I will read this summer are (1) Mudbound by Hillary Jordan, (2) Mississippi Sissy by Kevin Sessums, and (3) Prince of Frogtown by Rick Bragg.

Just as long as I don't have to do a book report.