This is an essay by Andy Rooney. I'm posting it as a tribute to several of my friends.
As I grow in age, I value older women
most of all. Here are just a few reasons why.
An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the
night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care
what you think.
An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured
in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from
whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you
might think about her.
An older single woman usually has had her fill
of "meaningful relationships and "commitment." The last
thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy,
whiny, dependent lover!
Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming
match with you at the opera, or in the middle of an
expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it,
they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can
get away with it. [Emphasis by Dixiebelle]
An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you
to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will
often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't
trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to
confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.
An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is
far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's
stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone.
Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and
she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in
ways younger women could never dream of.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you
right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one.
Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning,
smart, well-coifed babe of 70 there is a bald, paunchy
relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some
22 year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize for all of us.
That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count
your blessings that we die off at a far younger age,
leaving you the best part of your lives to appreciate
the exquisite woman you've become, without the
distraction of some demanding old man clinging and
whining his way into your serenity.
A special thanks to blogbuddy Dixiebelle for bringing it to my attention. Thanks, sugah. Oh, and thank you for turning me onto Gary Allan. He's great.