Dancing with Myself

For Jeff

O God, whose days are without end, and whose mercies
cannot be numbered: Make us, we pray, deeply aware of the
shortness and uncertainty of human life; and let your Holy
Spirit lead us in holiness and righteousness all our days; that,
when we shall have served you in our generation, we may be
gathered to our ancestors, having the testimony of a good
conscience, in communion with all living things, in the
confidence of a certain faith, in the comfort of a religious and
holy hope, in favor with you, our God, and in perfect charity
with the world. All this we ask through Jesus Christ
our Lord. Amen.*

Jeff Meek, a new but dear friend, was killed last Saturday night Sunday morning when he lost control of his car and it overturned.  He was 39 years old.  He leaves behind loving parents, a brother and a sister, five neices and one nephew, many cousins, and a heart-broken husband of 19 days, Charles Davy.

 I was privileged to bear witness to their marriage on Monday, November 3, the day before a small majority of Californians voted to strip same-sex couples of the right  to marry. 

This afternoon, friends and family are gathering to celebrate Jeff's life. 

*From the Book of Common Prayer used by the American Episcopal Church.

Happy Thanksgiving

Remember, life is a banquet and most poor sons-a-bitches are starving to death. 

The Marriage Equality Rally in San Francisco

It was a beautiful day.  Maybe a little too hot, but who complains about the heat in November?

There were some good speakers.  I checked YouTube and most of them are already uploaded.  T his is the Rev. Amos Brown speaking to the crowd.  He's come a long way in regards to Gay Rights.  This is a variation of a stump speech he gave in the campaign to defeat Prop. 8. 

Gay demonstrations are always a little different from other demonstrations.  For example, here's a very Gay way of making a subtle point.

Two of the most important speakers were a couple of Mormons.  They reassured the crowd that not all Mormons espouse hate.  They were very warmly received.    Being cute goes a long way in my crowd. 

This woman was standing next to me.  That's my office building in the background to the left. 

Here's a link to the photos I took today.  I leave you with one last picture.  I decided with that many proponents of same-sex marriage gathered in one place, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to show my availability.  Here's a picture of me sitting on the trunk of my car welcoming some of the marchers back to the Castro.

One last thing:  I'm taking down some of the posts from this past week.  I was very angry and upset when I wrote some things that are probably just a little to the right of hateful.  I don't have  to be nice, but  neither do I have to be mean.

Freedom of Speech vs. I'm Going to Kick Your Ass for Your Point of View

Gays across the country are very angry.  They are searching for the identity of individuals who contributed to the passage of Proposition 8.  Angry Gay mobs are screeching for blood!  I believe that if you're a Catholic or Mormon business owner who feels so strongly that same-sex marriage threatens your life, your family, your business, your ideas of what is right, give and give generously to the hate group of your choice, but please, SHUT  THE FUCK UP about being a victim when we identify you to your neighbors and customers.  You need to own up to your bigoted shit. 

I'm just saying, that's all.

Prose as Poetry

This is most of the second paragraph from a post from one of my favorite of all favorites bloggers, known only to us as Dog House Riley who writes a blog called Bats Left/Throws Right.  He's listed to my left as one of the Interesting People I've encountered in the blogosphere.  He is an incredible writer.  In this post, his prose approaches poetry.  Have a taste:

And as we see on an ever-widening basis these days, the problem with these guys is not their acceptance of, nor their proselytizing for, free-market economies and private enterprise. It's that through cupidity, stupidity, or in certain cases frankly unnatural shortness they, and many others, came to imagine that the people most in need of economic defense and protective legislation were, in fact, the the largest of the breed, who, it turns out, were also the most likely to part with considerable wads of cash in return for services rendered. O'Rourke speaks at The Cato Institute, not the North Platte Jaycees.

Go read the entire post.  It is classic. 

Religious Extremism

I've been engaged in an argument with one of my long time readers and fellow blogger.   Paraphrasing Sam Harris, I said that religious moderates give cover to religious extremists.  Is there any uglier example of religious extremism than this story from Somalia?

Last week, 13-year old Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow was stoned to death in Somalia by insurgents because she was raped.

Reports indicate that was raped by three men while traveling by foot to visit her grandmother in conflict capital, Mogadishu. When she went to the authorities to report the crime, they accused her of adultery and sentenced her to death. Aisha was forced into a hole in a stadium of 1,000 onlookers as 50 men buried her up to the neck and cast stones at her until she died.

When some of the people at the stadium tried to save her, militia opened fire on the crowd, killing a boy who was a bystander.

I would like to point out for the record that the Christian Bible calls for that same penalty for any number of offenses to their god in addition to Gay sex.  If Christians want to ban same-sex marriage because their Bible says so, why is it so difficult to believe they could never be this extreme?  What if a Christian mob got their hands on someone and were told that their prisoner was an abortion doctor?  Radical extremists in the right to life crowd have bombed abortion clinics, assassinated doctors, and terrorized women seeking abortions.  Why do I think they would come after Gays and Lesbians if they could?

Oh wait, they do.  Matthew Shepherd, Candace Williams, Phoebe Myrie, Salome Masooa, Sizakele Sigasa, Inacio dos Santos, Bashar, Gwen Araujo .... I could go on, but I think my point is made.  These people weren't murdered in the name of the church, but they were murdered by people who professed to be Christians.  Well, all except Bashar who was an Iraqi.  They were murdered by Christians who felt they had the right to take someone's life because that person's life had first been devalued by their church.  If you see it differently, convince me in the comments. 

So you moderate Catholics and Mormons go right ahead and pretend that you're the victims of Gay rage and hate.  You don't know shit about victimhood.

Quote of the Day

Support for the passage of Proposition 8 was in large part funded by the Roman Catholic and Mormon churches, who want their list of sins to become everyone's list of sins. They want their morality to become public policy. I believe in tolerance for all religions, but they apparently don't believe in tolerance for me. Is this the best use of their money? Aren't there, like, people going hungry or needing succor?

Jon Carroll, San Francisco Chronicle

Thoughts Regarding the Institution Formerly Known as Marriage

I want the California Legislature to sponsor a proposition to rewrite the California Constitution and replace the word marriage with Civil Unions.  In a preamble, it can say that the state is giving the word marriage to the various churches and religions and they can use it as they wish.  It is not the role of the state to choose sides in religious disputes, which is exactly what the struggle for the word marriage is.  My church says marriage is obligatory between committed couples, even same sex ones.  The Mormon cult believes only a man and an indeterminate number of women can be "Married."  The state needs to get itself out of the enforcement of religious disputes.

It is my understanding that some churches have already stopped performing the civil ceremonies commonly referred to as marriages.  For the purpose of the state contract, couples are sent to the civil authorities to sign the appropriate state-mandated contracts, and return to the church for a religious celebration of their union.  This is an humble and righteous response to civil law that discriminates against same-sex couples.  The church should not partner with the state in a system that denies benefits to a class of citizens who are members of the human family.

And since churches can make their own rules about marriage, Mormon cultists could take as many wives as they desire, but would be limited to only one civil partner.  I believe that is exactly what many of them do now.

We're Here, We're Queer, And We Ain't Going Nowhere!

As many as twenty-five thousand of us turned out in San Francisco this evening to protest the vote on Proposition 8.  I was there, in spite of myself. I mean, to paraphrase Kinky Friedman, my feet hurt, my shoes stank, and I damn sure didn't love Jesus.

I may be grinning in the next picture, but I promise you, we were serious as hell.

My friend Fundi was there as well.

The issue is now in front of the California Supreme Court.  I may work there, but I have no clue as to how it's going to turn out.  I couldn't tell you if I did.  I can tell you that I am so very proud of our Chief Justice, Ronald George.  He provided the leadership that made same-sex marriage possible, even if only for four months.  God bless  him.  The other three justices who joined him, Justices Kennard, Werdegar and Moreno, also deserve great praise for their courage.  The issue now in front of the Court is not same-sex marriage; it's procedure.  That vote can conceiveably be different.  Justices Baxter, Chin and Corrigan may have a different opinion about the procedural question than they did about same-sex marriage.  You never know.

It's More Personal Than I Thought it Would Be

I'm still in shock from the totality of Proposition 8 passing.  Today's paper gave me the break down of the numbers.  And then it told me the identity of the various groups that obviously hold me in contempt.  How else do I imagine I am held by people who would strip away something as basic as my right to form a committed relationship with the same privileges as heterosexual couples?  What is it about heterosexual couples that is superior to homosexual couples? 

I've always known the Mormons hate my kind, and my response has always been "well right back atcha, assholes."  I don't even consider them Christian.  They're a cult.  A rich cult, but still a cult.  Just like Islam, but that's another subject left for another day.  So, Mormons, who cares really?  One of these days we'll figure a way to set the Scientologists against them and both groups will neutralize each other.

What I learned this week that shocks and upsets me is how overwhelmingly the African-American community voted to strip us of this basic human value.  Ouch.  Fucking ouch.  70% of all African-Americans voted FOR Proposition 8, on purpose.  They knew exactly what they were doing.  Afterall, the African-American ministers who have seen their income grow as a result of contributions from much richer, and much whiter, mega-evangelical churches, have preached constantly for it.  Add to this mix the invisibility of Black Gays and Lesbians to their communities of color, and you have this strange attitude that Gay = White.

It might have helped us if Barack Obama would have said something into a camera with a bit of passion, (we all know he can deliver a good speech), that urged his people to not vote their religious bigotry.  I think such a sermon would have been worth half a million votes, don't you?  But he didn't.  Oh sigh.  It's not quite as bad as Bill Clinton's total capitulation to Sam Nunn over Gays in the military, but sometimes the greatest loss is the chance not taken.

I'm not blaming Blacks for the passage of Prop. 8, I'm just saying how shocked and disappointed I am because I thought we had a better understanding.  Blacks have been shining us on, all this time.  How else do you explain why your girlfriends at the office voted 3 to 1 to deprive you of your right to marry your partner?  It's not like our groups don't know each other, because we do.  AND, we get along.  Or so I thought.  Obviously not.

I wish it had been important enough for Barack Obama to have preached at least one sermon to his people about how mean-spirited Proposition 8 was, and how unfair it is to persecute a vulnerable minority for reasons of religious bigotry, but he didn't.  He missed an opportunity for greatness.  I hope he has many others.  Most of us mortals don't get but one or two chances to do the extraordinary. 

I saw a picture of the guys who have pretty much run the Yes on 8 campaign here in California.  I bet they made a lot of money on this issue.  The Mormons contributed over $30 million dollars, but knowing Mormons as I do, if anyone made money off of the $30 million, they were Mormon.  What would be the business plan on that kind of business?  Let's see, you raise $30 million.  You get a cool 25% off the top for raising the money, and you pay your production company good money to produce the spots used, and x-amount goes to to purchasing the spots on tv and radio.  It's a good business.

And these cynical shysters have caused to be passed an AMENDMENT to the state-fucking-constitution denying me the right to have a legally sanctioned partnership with someone of my own choosing -- which they say is alright to have as long as I don't call it what they call theirs, "marriage."

Okay, they win.  From now on, we'll call it "A Civil Committed Relationship which We Would Call Marriage except Proposition 8 Forbids us from Calling it What it Is."  Sort of like that artiste, "Formerly Known as Prince."

I'm actually tired of figting over this.  Same-sex marriage is not my primary issue.  I just hate that religious bigotry trumps religious freedom.  My primary issue is the federal judiciary and for gravy, universal health care.  Pet issues are Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) and Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), but I'm willing to give Obama a couple of years to deal with those two.

Meanwhile, the tide of enlightenment moves our way.  When I came out in 1965, homosex was against the law in most states.  Entrapment by undercover vice police was a part of our lives.  It still is in someplaces.  This year, three Republicans joined a Democrat, and the California Supreme Court said that being Gay was so fundamental a part of one's identity that to deny one a basic right guaranteed by the state Constitution was immediately suspect and needed to be justified by a higher standard.

That's the hook upon which we hang our immediate hopes.  How can a basic human right be abbrogated by a simple majority?  The standard has to be higher to guarantee the rights of an unpopular minority.  That is what this country's democratic institutions, documents, and philosophy is all about.