Dancing with Myself

Quote of the Day

"It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can't get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile." - John Hinderacker back in July 2005.

We know John can suck up, but can he give head?   Thanks to Kossite Bill in Portland Maine for reminding us of this lovely example of blind-hero-worship-induced stupidity. 

Nice Work if You Can Get It

Next Monday we celebrate (or not) a unique American holiday, Memorial Day.  It used to be one of our traditional holidays celebrated on May 30th.  Congress in its wisdom changed many of our holidays to the most convenient Monday.  Now our beloved Congress thinks that the magic is gone from Memorial Day.  It's just another 3-day week-end.  So, what do we do about it?  We set up a friend in a cush job and tell her to think about how to make us more interested in the holiday.

"Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., a longtime friend of Carmella LaSpada's who sponsored the legislation to create the commission, said he's still committed to its mission, but he laughs when he thinks about the logistics of actually pulling it off."  [Emphasis mine.  Hell, it's only a few million bucks of public money.}  Meanwhile she gets $150,000 a year in salary and perks.

"LaSpada has been repeatedly criticized in annual federal financial audits for blurring the lines between her tiny federal agency and No Greater Love, a nonprofit agency LaSpada founded 30 years ago, which operates right next door and has a similar mission."

What's the best idea LaSpada's group has come up with yet?

"A tiny White House commission has spent the past five years and $1.5 million trying to bring a new American tradition to Memorial Day's barbecues, parades and sales: A moment of remembrance, a sigh, perhaps a prayer. Just a 30-second pause."

"The results, so far, are mixed."

"The White House Commission on the National Moment of Remembrance does have a theme song donated by Charles Strouse, creator of the musical "Annie." There's a logo, pens and coasters, prewritten news articles and television spots. There have been events, like a sand-sculpture display inspired by D-Day."

"And a few towns, businesses and organizations have paused silently at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day."

"In general, though, the commission's hyper-energetic executive director, Carmella LaSpada, has been somewhat frustrated by the lack of interest."  And true to her Republican roots, who does she blame?  The Media.

"We're a little disappointed," she said. "What has been the problem is that we haven't gotten the support that we would like to have from the media."

Can you smell a scam when you read about it?

Look Out Mr. Ed!

You, too, Trigger, Silver, Flicka, Black Beauty!

Once again, the Bush administration has decided that it doesn't have to follow any law it dislikes.  This time it's about horse meat.

"Congress amended an agriculture spending bill last fall to ban using taxpayer funds to inspect horse meat, which would stop horse slaughter in the United States because federal law requires the inspection of all meat.

"But the Department of Agriculture, lobbied by the owners of the plants and their allies in Congress and in the horse and cattle industries, issued new rules last month allowing the plants to keep operating by paying the $350,000 annual cost of the inspections."

"They thwarted the will of Congress," said Rep. Edward "Clueless" Whitfield, R-Ky., one of the bill's chief sponsors. "They were intent on going against what was very clearly the purpose of passing the amendment ... to end horse slaughter."

Hey, Ed!  Ask John McCain about the torture amendment.  It is this administration's position that it doesn't have to follow any law it disagrees with, or didn't you get the memo from your party leaders?

And guess in which states the horse slaughterers are located?  If you said, Texas, you're right.  There are three plants in the U.S. that slaughter horses.  Two are in Texas, one in Illinois.  The customers of slaughtered horse meat are France, Belgium and Japan.  In those places, horse meat is just the "other" red meat.

A Wee Ditty for Your Morning

For your amusement.

Sinful Pleasures

I know this awful woman in Louisiana.  She's actually a cousin, albeit distant.  She is the most pretentious person I know, and I know a few pretentious people.  After all, I work in a pretentious environment.  She takes the prize though.  Let me help you dislike her.  She's a politicized evangelical Christian.  She's presently with her 3rd or 4th husband.  He's a low-level federal bureaucrat from a middle-class background.  Not a bad schmuck, just unlucky enough to have been snared by this woman.  While she's smart as a whip, she is driven by a neurotic need for middle-class acceptance and acknowledgment.  Her excesses of neuroses have canceled out any of the good she may have inadvertently caused.

She tried every trick she knew to get me to declare to her that I'm Gay.  I didn't think it any of her business, and I told her so.  She's the kind that collects details on people that she will unhesitatingly use later.  While she's a god-fearing Christian now, she was the easiest fuck in high school.  She also ran with a bad crowd.  Her mother took up most of the slack in her early years by practically raising her children.  Grandmothers do that, thank God.

Regular readers know that recently I had an exchange with a bunch of people in Louisiana who are trying to find their identity by turning my family's story into something other than what it is.  They formed an association.  Most of them are distant kin, even more distant than this woman of whom I speak.  These people all chatter amongst themselves on one of those yahoo discussion groups.  Since I was often the subject of their chatter, several other cousins who are fond of me monitor the chatroom and report to me when my name is taken in vain, or if something else fun and interesting transpires.

Today I had one such report.  The woman of my story went on a rant about "others" taking Christ out of the holiday.  To my surprise, one of the other regulars about whom I said I wouldn't cross the street to piss on  him if he were on fire, took her to task and deflated her bullshit.  He even used the term "politicized evangelical conservatives."  My my, perhaps I've judged him wrongly. 

Then the woman used the word "irregardless."  Fair or not, of all misused words, this one has been thoroughly exposed.  This is the third time I've noticed her using it.  Oh dear Lord, do I feel smug.  I thought about sending her an anonymous email and telling her to drop the "ir" because it makes her look like the ignorant hillbilly she is trying to put on airs, but then I thought, she is who she is.  Unintentionally she says more about herself than is her intent.

I know I'll pay a price for my misguided and smug sense of superiority.  Meanwhile, in the words of that great icon of culture, may I say to this awful woman who is distantly related to me "Jane, you ignorant slut."

Why Does God Hate the Red States?

I'm just saying, that's all. Thanks to Washingtonrox for the pointer.

Best Line of the Day

The absolutist best line of the day:  "...the idea that there's no difference between chicken livers and chicken shit just because some people can't tell the difference, is just as stupid."

From Doghouse Riley over at  Bats Left Throws Right.

You Can't Make This Shit Up

Sir, is this your penis?

It seems airport inspectors found a Whizzinator kit, which includes bags of powdered pee and the ersatz male genitalia designed to fool drug testers in the bags of Onterrio Smith, a player for the Minnesota Vikings. Smith managed to stave off humiliating embarrassment by confessing he had obtained the kit for his cousin's use. Thank god for that.

Abstinence is Cool

Here's a site dedicated to safe sex.

Truth is a Defense Against Slander

Orange County, Florida:  After watching Orange County Sheriff Beary allow himself to be shot with a taser gun, Alice Gawronski wrote the Orlando Sentinel and said that Sheriff Beary looked to be in an obvious state of distress, appeared overweight and suggested that if deputies were more fit, they might not need to resort to zapping suspects.

Sheriff Beary, apparently in violation of a law that disallows obtaining personal information from drivers license for non-law enforcement purposes, obtained Alice's home address and wrote accusing her of slander.  At 5'10" and weighing 290 pounds, it obviously wasn't being called "fat" that troubled the Sheriff, but that she said he in an obvious state of distress.

Hey, Beary!  Are you sure it wasn't the "fat" remark that annoyed you? 

"If I were her, I'd sue and get him in front of a jury. He'd probably get laughed out of the courtroom," said Chris Hoofnagle, the senior counsel for the Electronic Privacy Information Center.

And the wingnuts think that it's the Left that is making a mockery of the court system in this country.