Dancing with Myself

Friday Fun Stuff

This would make football ever so much more interesting.

Owning our Opinions

I had the opportunity to watch Diane Sawyer's interview with Mel Gibson this week on ABC's Good Morning America.  This morning I learned that Mel believes himself the victim in this sordid affair.  Did you know that not one Jew apologized to Mel Gibson for thinking his movie, The Passion of Christ, was anti-semitic.  I have to confess I did not see the movie.  I don't find S&M snuff films very entertaining.  I did read enough about it to have an opinion, but I kept my opinion to myself.  I think Mel felt he was owned an apology because there were no pogroms after the release of the film.  No pogroms, no anti-semitism.  No, seriously, I think he believes that.

Those damn Jews accused him of anti-semitism and not one pogrom!  Every Jew in creation should stop making war long enough to apologize to Mel because there were no outbreaks of violence against Jews as the result of his terrible movie?  Hello?  Here's my one question to Mel:  did you ever stop and wonder why your movie about Jesus was so widely popular in Muslim countries?  For a month or two, it seriously challenged The Protocols of the Elders of Zion for most popular movie about Jews in Muslim countries.  Get a clue, Mel.

Regarding "all the wars of the world," he mentioned how frightening the wars in the Middle East were to someone who has children and grandchildren.  He did allow that it takes two to tango.  I think that he meant that all the wars the Jews were fighting did involve someone else.  What a schmuck!

Mel has asked Jews to help him deal with his stupidity.  No thanks, Mel.  We know how you feel.  You're not the first idiot Jews have had to deal with in this world.  In this morning's interview, he played his victim card.  Poor Mel.  "I wouldn't hate Jews if they weren't so hateful!"  Okay, he didn't say that.  He sure as hell inferred it in my opinion.  I was reminded of Maureen Dowd's column back when this brouhaha first occurred.  (Thanks to Welcome to Pottersville for posting Maureen's column).  She asked Leon Wieseltier, the author of “Kaddish ” and the literary editor of The New Republic, how he would help Mel get over his anti-semitism.

Mr. Gibson appears to believe that the Jews control everything. It is an ancient anti-Semitic insult. But now that he has gotten into trouble for his bigoted views, he has thrown himself at the mercy of the object of his bigotry.

He said he wants to “meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one-on-one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.”

He added: “I am in the process of understanding where those vicious words came from during that drunken display, and I am asking the Jewish community, whom I have personally offended, to help me on my journey through recovery.”

  . . . .

Now that the volatile Mr. Gibson has pleaded for guidance from leaders of the American Jewish community, I decided to consult the only one I know. I asked Leon Wieseltier, the author of “Kaddish ” and the literary editor of The New Republic, how he would help Mel heal.

“He has been a very bad goy,’’ Leon said.

“It is really rich to behold Gibson asking Jews to behave like Christians. Has he forgotten how bellicose and wrathful and unforgiving we are? Why would a people who start all the wars make a peace? Perhaps he’s feeling a little like Jesus, hoping that the Jews don’t do their worst and preparing himself for more evidence of their disappointing behavior.

“I have always wondered why people who believe that we control the world do not have more respect for us. Take that cop who arrested Gibson. Do you think it was a coincidence that he was a Jew? We have been following Gibson’s every move since he released that movie. The other night, when our uniformed brother spotted him bobbing and weaving in his star car, we saw an opportunity and we took it. Don’t blame us. It’s what Yahweh would do.

“When Officer Mee busted him, we all busted him.

“Moreover, it is the elders’ considered view that whereas alcoholism may require a process of recovery, anti-Semitism is a more intractable and less chic failing. This was not a moment of insanity, even if Gibson is insane. His hatred of Jews was plain in his movie and in his twisted defense of it, which was made when he was sober under the influence of his primitive world view. Perhaps he thinks that all he needs to do is spend a few months in AA — Anti-Semites Anonymous — and find some celebrity sponsor and run for absolution to Larry Zeiger, I mean Larry King, where he can say with perfect sincerity that the Holocaust was a terrible thing and gut yontif.

“But the elders have instructed Larry to be strict with the uncircumcised offender. He is to appear only opposite ‘American Idol’ and in the company of David Gest.

“We understand that Gibson cannot do it alone. But why do we have to do it with him? We would find it hard to be in a room with him unless, of course, he wants to count some money with us. Why doesn’t he turn to the vast number of his Christian brothers and sisters who show no trace of anything resembling his disgusting prejudice?

“Mad Max is making Max mad, and Murray, and Irving, and Mort, and Marty, and Abe. But we’re not completely heartless. If he wants to do Shylock at dinner theater, fine. If he agrees to fill his swimming pool with Kabbalah water, fine.”

Then Leon was just too aggravated to speak. He mumbled something in Aramaic and hung up.

Not being Jewish, I'm not supposed to take slurs like Gibson's personally.  Okay, I don't.  I still think he's a stupid asshole.  As a zen buddhist pentecostal episcopal christian Jew, I was taught the principle of forgiveness.  Rule number one, before you can ask forgiveness of someone you have offended, you must first be contrite.  Blaming others for your mistakes is not an act of contrition.  Saying bullshit like, "anyone who may have been offended by my act of stupidity" is not an act of contrition. 

I'm just saying, that's all.

The Texas Dildo Law

Fashion Victim

When I was in Miami Beach, I saw a similar shirt in one of the shops for $195.  I may be a slave to fashion, but I have my limits.  Once home, I asked the gods of google about it, and they steered me to this site:  Prank Tattoo Art.  I've ordered my very own sleeves, and for considerably less than $195.

In Praise of Older Women

This is an essay by Andy Rooney.  I'm posting it as a tribute to several of my friends.

As I grow in age, I value older women
most of all. Here are just a few reasons why.

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the
night to ask, "What are you thinking?"  She doesn't care
what you think.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured
in who she is, what  she is, what she wants and from
whom.  Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you
might think about her.

An older single woman usually has had her fill
of "meaningful relationships and "commitment."  The last
thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy,
whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are dignified.  They seldom have a screaming
match with you at the opera, or in the middle of an
expensive restaurant.  Of course, if you deserve it,
they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can
get away with it.  [Emphasis by Dixiebelle]

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you
to her women friends.  A younger woman with a man will
often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't
trust the guy with other women.  Older women couldn't
care less.

Women get psychic as they age.  You never have to
confess your sins to an older woman.  They always know.

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is
far sexier than her younger counterpart.  Her libido's
stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone.

Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and
she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in
ways younger women could never dream of.

Older women are forthright and honest.  They'll tell you
right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.  For every stunning,
smart, well-coifed babe of  70 there is a bald, paunchy
relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some
22 year old waitress.  Ladies, I apologize for all of us.

That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count
your blessings that we die off at a far younger age,
leaving you the best part of your lives to appreciate
the exquisite woman you've become, without the
distraction of some demanding old man clinging and
whining his way into your serenity.

A special thanks to blogbuddy Dixiebelle for bringing it to my attention.  Thanks, sugah.  Oh, and thank you for turning me onto Gary Allan.  He's great.

Happy Passover

Is your seder just too long?  You've done everything you can to shorten it, but you just can't seem to wrap it up in less than 3 hours?

Oy, have we got an answer for you.  The one minute Haggadah.  (Click anywhere on the screen.)

Hag Sameah L'pesach..

Speaking of Weird Habits

Fragile Industries is coming up for the week-end.  We have tickets for Dimitri Hvorostovsky's concert Sunday night.  She's a bit of a groupie to him.  He's quite a hunk.  He's alright, I suppose, but I'm promised to a tenor, so I'm just going to keep her from really embarrassing herself.

Tornado Strikes Red State

Once again, the great Sky Fairie showed its displeasure with a state that voted for George W. Bush and his "values."  An out of season tornado ripped through neighborhoods in Indiana and Kentucky, killing at least 22 people.  My condolences to those who lost life and property.  First it was the hurricanes, and now tornadoes.  Oh dear!  My advice to others in Red states is to repent and pray for forgiveness for your ignorance and stupidity that caused you to vote for the antiChrist.  The Great Sky Fairie is a just and merciful sky fairie, but it is greatly angered by the havoc being wrecked upon the world by the United States under the leadership of Bush, Cheney, and the Republican Party.  Repent before it's too late.

I'm Wireless!

My new Powerbook G4 is now up and running and I'm connected to the internet. Hallelujah! I also figured out how to hook my camera up to the computer and download my photographs. I'm a happy camper. Now I have to go paint my kitchen. I'll be back later today to chat.

Best Line of the Day

“this is classic Horowitziana — a complete lie mired in a mighty river of bullshit,”--Graham Larkin, via Michael Berube.