Dancing with Myself

Happy Halloween!

This has got to be a hell day for the evangelical Christians. I'm going out on a limb here, but I think Halloween is the fastest growing holiday in the world. It crosses cultural lines even better than Christmas. It's not about anything Christian, despite it's origin, but is something more basic than that. For awhile I thought it was a Gay thing. That's because my first encounter with Halloween as an adult was in my early Gay days in New Orleans. It was an intense holiday in the late 70s in New Orleans. I moved on to San Francisco in the 80s and it was pretty intense here, too. First difference I noticed was it wasn't just a Gay thing in San Francisco. It was a young adults holiday all over California. Those straight kids dressed up and had a good time, let me tell you!

This year, Halloween fell on the perfect day of it's possible cycle: Sunday. The result was ten days of party in San Francisco, and I bet the rest of the world as well. The party mode intensified all week.

Friday in the Castro the sidewalks were crowded, the bars even more so. Lots of costumes and lots of drag, some good, some ... well, let's just say not everyone looks good in a dress and wig. As for walking in high heels, practice boys, practice, BEFORE you go out in public. Not everyone in costume was in drag. Quite the contrary. I thought more than half the crowd was straight. They come to the Castro because it's a neighborhood that celebrates diversity, and that diversity includes straight men who get a kick out of doing drag, straight men and women who enjoy doing serious costume and look for an appreciative audience, couples of all combination of culture, gender, race bringing their children to take in the carnival atmosphere that accompanies this holiday of bizaare.

Saturday afternoon I was getting ready to get into my Elvis drag when a friend asked for some serious help from me. I think it's quite rude for friends to have urgent needs that conflict with my social life. Rude I tell you, rude. It's rude because you know you don't have the option of saying no. They wouldn't be asking you to help if they didn't need it. Of course, if they had listened to your advice prior to making certain decisions that put them in the place where they are, they wouldn't be needing your help right now, now would they?

Instead of partying last night in my hot Elvis costume, I helped a friend move. I am too old for this shit. I did it with grace and humor, though. I complained not. Today I'm wearing a brace. I consider myself lucky. I'm sore from the strain, but nothing popped, pulled, spasm'd, or - god forbid- broke. Soreness passes quickly, but not quickly enough to make the idea of going out tonight into that madness sound attractive. Instead, I'm staying home and playing the part of terrified homeowner who pays a tribute to the ghosts and goblins who play about this night.

I have this ugly vision in my head of my roommate coming home and finding me passed out on the couch, chocolate smeared around my mouth, on my hands, hundreds of candy wrappers strewed about me, and me looking up at him and saying "I kept waiting for the kids. I waited and waited and waited."

I still don't "get" Halloween, but you don't have to understand something to enjoy it. Celebrate friends, celebrate. "Life's a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death." Happy Halloween.

Having Fun with Politics

Go ahead, you know you want to play Give Bush a Brain!

I Yam Not a Drag Queen!

I just look good in a dress. If you only have one dress, make sure it's flawless and black, and be sure to wear red shoes.

I don't do drag, but I will genderfuck on occasion. This is Halloween several years ago. "Dressing up" for me is more of a spontaneous thing. A close friend gave me a bouffant Elvis wig the other day, so I was thinking of doing Elvis in his black leather days. That would show off my new svelte figure, and the new black leather shirt I got for $25 at the hospice thrift shop on Sutter. (We like them a lot.) I already have black leather pants. It's a hot look. Of course, throw Boudreaux (my black-on-black-on-black cadillac) into the mix and it's almost a little too Hollywood. Have I confessed to being a tad bit ostentatious? I blame it on the Texan in me. All of my life I've heard "if you don't sparkle, you won't dazzle," I'm not sure where I heard it. I think it's in the air and water in Texas. Men and women, Gay and straight, young and old, all practice the art of ostentation. Or as my mother might say, "it's a gift."

The Election Draws Near

I was stalking around some of my favorite blogs today and came across this Village Voice link to a video called "The Battle for Cleveland" over at Jackohomo. There's another one about the protests to Bush's visit to Canton a week ago. Both are excellent.

We don't have much of a campaign out here in California. Bush couldn't win California if he were the only person on the ballot. As a result we don't have tv ads, billboards, newspaper ads, radio ads, nada, zip. Nothing. On one hand, it's good for my blood pressure. On the other hand, it's just not as exciting to sit in a phone bank calling people in the rest of the U.S. The video about the battle for Cleveland brings it home to us that there's a real blood, sweat and tears campaign taking place in the heartland.

To our friends and fellow Americans in Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Florida, and the other states that are so crucially important in this coming election: keep up the good work. We're almost there.

If you can lend a hand in the next several days, do so. Here and there. This is the most important election that has taken place in my lifetime and probably yours. Stay firm in your resolve and do as much as you can. Work for John Kerry. Vote for John Kerry. Give money to the DNC, Move-On, to any of your favorite candidates. Get involved. This race depends on YOU.

Vote for Kerry. America deserves better.

The Great Pumpkin

Last night, the shadow of the earth passed over the moon. Here's what we saw. ( Borrowed without permission from SFGate.)

That's the point of the Transamerica Building.

Halloween is Coming

Scared?

Are you scared now?

Smells Like Desperation to Me

So, George Bush now thinks civil unions are okay. Too bad the low-life, MFker didn't have the cajones to say so when he was trying to amend the Constitution to forever forbid me and my type from having any kind of recognized relationship. Fuck him. He's just trying to have it both ways. I hope his evangelicals read this for what it means. They're real important, but right now there aren't enough of them to elect him. He needs normal, non-bigoted people as well. So, which Bush do we believe? The moderate or the extremist? Since the moderates aren't as well organized as the fundies, I think we know who gets the short shrift.

Most of my friends are now working phone banks, traveling to battleground states, and everyone has given money, again and again. If we don't win it won't be because we didn't give it our best.

Just a few days until the election. We're going to win this. Vote for Kerry. America deserves better than that loser from Crawford.

An Apology to Our English Allies

Apparently the Guardian recently asked its readers to write to their friends in America and tell them how urgently Bush needs to be defeated. Here's a sampling of the letters they received in reply from Americans.

From New York:

Have you not noticed that Americans don't give two shits what Europeans think of us? Each email someone gets from some arrogant Brit telling us why to NOT vote for George Bush is going to backfire, you stupid, yellow-toothed pansies ... I don't give a rat's ass if our election is going to have an effect on your worthless little life. I really don't. If you want to have a meaningful election in your crappy little island full of shitty food and yellow teeth, then maybe you should try not to sell your sovereignty out to Brussels and Berlin, dipshit. Oh, yeah - and brush your goddamned teeth, you filthy animals.
Wading River, NY

Dear Wading River: The last I looked, the only ally we have in Iraq is the British. You have expressed so much more eloquently than I exactly why Blair should withdraw British troops from Iraq.

Another American weighs in:

KEEP YOUR FUCKIN' LIMEY HANDS OFF OUR ELECTION. HEY, SHITHEADS, REMEMBER THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR? REMEMBER THE WAR OF 1812? WE DIDN'T WANT YOU, OR YOUR POLITICS HERE, THAT'S WHY WE KICKED YOUR ASSES OUT. FOR THE 47% OF YOU WHO DON'T WANT PRESIDENT BUSH, I SAY THIS ... TOUGH SHIT!
PROUD AMERICAN VOTING FOR BUSH!

Dear Proud American: First of all, we didn't "win" the war of 1812. For the record, the British burned Washington. The Battle of New Orleans doesn't really count for much, since it was fought after the peace had been signed. Oh, and Mr. Proud American, had not the French helped us as much as they did, you'd still be drinking tea, eating crumpets, and saying "God Bless the Queen." Idiot.

It wouldn't be right without a Texan weighing in:

Real Americans aren't interested in your pansy-ass, tea-sipping opinions. If you want to save the world, begin with your own worthless corner of it.
Texas, USA

Dear Mr. Texas: Is this how you thank our allies for their sacrifices?

Here's a beauty:

Hey England, Scotland and Wales,
Mind your own business. We don't need weenie-spined Limeys meddling in our presidental election. If it wasn't for America, you'd all be speaking German. And if America would have had a president, then, of the likes of Kerry, you'd all be goose-stepping around Buckingham Palace. YOU ARE NOT WANTED!! Whether you want to support either party. BUTT OUT!!!
United States

Okay, someone over there call Tony Blair and be sure to pass this message on to him. "BUTT OUT!!!"

I'd be embarrassed if this was the first time I tasted this vitrol that comes from Bush supporters. Oh hell, I'm embarrassed anyway. One does not get used to this kind of shit.

On behalf of most Americans, I want to thank the British for their unwavering support of the United States. I feel a great kinship with you. I appreciate your concern regarding Bush and his administration. I would like to ask you to take responsibility for your own complicity in our mess, however. Bush brags almost daily about his "coalition of the willing," which is basically the U.S. and Great Britain. If Blair were to denounce Bush rather than defend him, it might make a difference in our election. It would do a lot more than a few thousand letters to Americans begging them not to reelect Bush.

Continue to write your letters to your friends in America, but do a little more in your own country as well. Get Blair to reassess his commitment to Bush's lies. That's the help we need from you right now.

Mary Cheney Shaved? WTF!?

Someone did a Google search for "Mary Cheney Shaved." Google pointed to this blog. It's a long story, but it started with this post, and was followed by this one. Interesting huh? It gets better though. There are about 20 hits in a row of my blog from the Google search engine. You know how Google works, don't you? The selection getting the most hits moves up on the Google found page. It would appear that someone wants my blog to be noticed whenever someone searches for Mary Cheney shaved.

Okay, if the person behind this bit of mischief reads this, you want to tell me what's up?

Two Hundred Things

I first ran across this at the Republic of T. I thought it interesting, but it didn't really hook me. Then Sweet 'n Sassy did the list. I resisted because I couldn't imagine that very many people really cared one way or the other. I changed my mind when I realized there was at least one person who was curious, and that was me. I was surprised at how busy I've been, but then, I am 57 years old. I hope to score a few more before I finish. A word about bungee jumping and skydiving: I have a debilitating fear of heights. Those two probably won't happen. Nuh-uh. Can't even imagine it. Otherwise, the ones in bold are in the done column.

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease.
11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

18. Grown, eaten, or smoked your own vegetables and herbs
19. Touched an iceberg (and we don't mean lettuce!)
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon - (I jumped off the roof of the chicken coop when I was 7 using an umbrella as a parachute. That ought ought to count for something.)
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier (I think other body parts ought to qualify.)
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight (Maybe, who knows? Is that a lot?)
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you regret
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice

101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River - I have rafed rivers, just not this one.
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently - My French and German teachers would both disagree. Maybe I never spoke either of them fluently, but I spoke both boldly without fear. That ought to count for something.
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone (Repeat of #88)
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?  Yes and yes.
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did (I should get half credit. A close friend came and stayed with me for a few weeks in 1973 in order to have an abortion.)
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication (Better question would have been "published".)
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol all of the above!
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train (A reluctant yes. Masturbation is sex.)
160. Had a snake as a pet (I had a pet pig once. Should get more points.)

161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states (Although when I moved to Oakland in 1999 after living in San Francisco for 20 years, I can say that I had been to Paris more frequently than I had been to Oakland.)
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat - Not to my knowledge
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor (Although conflicted, I'm going to answer yes.)
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about gay people are OK!
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach - Does stomping on them count as petting?
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them.
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care (I put Howard Salzberg into an hospice. Did I love Howard? I don't think so. Still ought to count.)
193. Built your own PC from parts - Give me a break.
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

I had to think about some of the questions. I mean, I did fight for the honor of the heroine of my pinestraw fort when I was 7 or 8, fighting off an evil invader, protecting either a real playmate or an imagined one, swords being the weapon of choice for defending pine straw forts.

I'm not sure the object is to score a perfect two hundred, but rather the list is a metaphor. Each day's experience enriches you. This is just two hundred ideas of one person. He or she is asking random questions as a way of inviting you to look at your life.

I'm still t-t-t-tap-tap-tapping as fast as I can.