That's what I've been experiencing, blogging fatigue. For the past four five years I've been the fat guy dancing with himself, getting real close to the mirror, sometimes not being able to tell which of us is a reflection. Pretty cool, huh?
The fat old man in Missouri stalking me slowed me down more than it should have, but at the end of the day, he's still a fat old man in Missouri and I'm me, more interesting, more glamorous, more exciting, more everything than he will ever be. He's not the reason I quit blogging. Wait, okay, I haven't "quit" blogging. I just stopped for awhile.
For several reasons: first of all, I've been having fun all summer. I think half of the people I know in the world are Summer babies. I threw a party once called "Summer Babies, Som're Not." Figured it was more efficient if we just have one big blow-out on the most convenient week-end of summer: July 4th. It was Fairbanks, Alaska, summer of 1995. We called it the Summer Solstice Party, figuring two weeks late didn't matter. It didn't. I think we had about 5,000 people show up in the field off Farmer's Loop in Fairbanks to celebrate.
I still celebrate summer. It goes back to my childhood. Summers were special. Too many years during the winter I found myself living with a cruel step-father being emotionally abused. If I could survive until June, I would go to my grandmother's where I would be loved and nurtured.
Once at my grandmother's, summer became idyllic. Behind her house lay about 1000 square miles of woodland. What a playground! All of my summer memories now seem but a blur, but there was always cousins, friends, dogs, horses, and fun.
The U.S. Army sent me to Alaska in the Spring of 1972. I thought I was going off to experience dying of cold as in Jack London's, To Build a Fire. I was prepared for the worst. What I discovered instead was a version of paradise. There in the land of the midsummer sun was a culture that celebrated summer, just as I did as a kid. But I digress.
I have been having fun. On top of my personal fun, hundreds, if not thousands, of Gays and Lesbians have come to San Francisco this summer to get married. I expected hundreds of couples from every place in the world to show up this summer and get married. What I did not expect is that so many of my friends would be getting married. I don't know why I didn't think that the freedom to marry wouldn't somehow affect my circle of friends. After all, I am Gay. Still, the number of my friends who married each other caught me by surprise. If I have to go to one more damn wedding ....
Just kidding. I know for certain there are at least another half dozen couples whom I know well plan to marry before Fall. I know another half dozen couples who plan to wait and see if that wretched amendment is defeated. You know, it's very distressing that every two or four years there's an initiative or something on the ballot that would restrict or marginalize me and my community.
Blogging is personally rewarding on several levels, but giving too much energy to it is a lot like filling up on empty calories. You know, the kind you get fat from but don't sustain you for hard work or going the long haul.
I may not be blogging as regularly as I once did, but I'm going to continue, even if it's irregular. I'm still getting a few dozen hits a day from various search engines. Maybe someone somewhere will have a flash of enlightenment as a result of reading one of my quips or bon mots. Funnier things have happened.
Anyways, I just wanted my few regular readers to know that I'm well, just a bit too preoccupied, but well. I may not get around to writing regularly until after summer, but when I write my "What I did this summer" essay, I will have pictures.
Peace.
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